Birthing

I am about to give birth and yet, in some ways, I've only just found out that I am pregnant. Realities collide and yet compliment. Some physical, some spiritual, others emotional; all very real.

My baby pushes against my skin. She is getting uncomfortable in her cramped quarters. Little does she know that it will get worse before it gets better. To attain freedom and have space once again, she will first need to enter the most confining straits she has ever been in.

During these past nine months I have learned much about pregnancy. I've learned that we're all pregnant, all the time, just at different points. Perhaps there's not an actual fetus inside of us, but definitely an idea, a plan, a goal. Something that is growing, developing and brewing within.

Recognizing where we are in our birthing process is essential. Sometimes it is so new to us that we may not yet even know that we are pregnant. But something doesn't feel right. We are hormonal, uncomfortable and confused. Perhaps even nauseous — sometimes terribly nauseous. We are being taken over by something we can't see, can't directly feel, and don't even understand. We would like to convey what is happening to others, but there is nothing to show, only some cells forming, completely unrecognizable, invisible even to the most advanced technology.

By the beginning of our second trimester, we have a better idea of what is happening. Though it is still not visible to the rest of the world. Indeed, we often wait until we have exited at least this fragile stage before telling anyone of our condition, other than perhaps our immediate family and closest friends. For everything is still unstable. We are not sure that what is starting to happen will endure, let alone thrive.

So entering this second phase, we allow ourselves a first sigh of relief. We have overcome one major hurdle. By now, we are fully aware of a life growing within us. It has been confirmed by the professionals and even seen or heard through various pieces of equipment. We may even start showing a little round belly. Though most people are afraid to ask; maybe we have just gained a little weight. We are feeling better, still tired, but a long way off from the birth, so we are not yet overwhelmed.

As the months pass, we start to tell others, and even those we don't tell can see for themselves. We are more at ease and comfortable with our new condition. It is very real to us, and indirectly, to others as well. We are in a process, and that process is moving in the right direction, but there is a ways to go. Indeed, if we were to give birth at this point, this new life could not survive. It is not ready to be shown to the outside world; it is not yet developed. It may resemble what it will eventually become, but at this point it is simply too weak to exist outside of our own bodies, minds and souls.

So we wait and we try to eat right and we do whatever we can to help ensure that this new life should thrive. Soon enough we begin to feel the kicking and movement within. Our condition grows increasingly apparent to the outside world. But only the one carrying this new potential life really knows, really feels connected and has already established a relationship with something and someone To attain freedom and have space once again, she will first need to enter the most confining straits she has ever been in he or she has never even met. How does one explain the unending love for this creation within? How does one explain a connection and bond that has been formed, that cannot and will not ever be broken? It is impossible. No one else will know what exists between the two of you. Not yet. Maybe, only maybe, after the birth itself.

We are getting closer. We are moving toward that due date. We are in our final trimester. Yet no one, not even the greatest of doctors, can predict when the moment will come. Some are early, others on time, some always late. We wait. Are we ready? Does it matter? This is happening regardless. Everyone is anxious. Everyone knows that the time is nearing and soon what is hidden within will finally be revealed. What will it look like? Is it what we were expecting? Picturing? Will it live up to our expectations? Will we live up to its?

We want so badly to bring this life into the world. For so long we have been preparing, and we are finally ready to enter this new reality. We are ready to separate ourselves from what has now only been within and to share it with others. For ultimately, we do not create solely for ourselves. That would be selfish. That wouldn't have a purpose. We bring forth life to express who we are, while giving it an opportunity to be independent and make an impact on its surroundings.

The labor pains begin. They become more and more intense until we think we can no longer bear it. This new life is in the process of leaving the only home it has ever known. It is painful, exciting, scary, unbelievable. There is no turning back. It is time.

The first thing we hear is the cry. The shriek pierces the room and fills everyone with joy and love beyond what we thought was possible. We have brought forth a new life, a new creation, and yet, this is just the beginning. We are not quite ready to let go. The umbilical cord is still attached. Yet we know it must be cut in order for our baby to survive. It no longer feeds from within; it is time to breathe air and thrive from the outside world. One process has ended as the other immediately begins. There is a long road ahead.

Now is finally the time to celebrate. We have given something to this world. We have made a difference. We have added. We have multiplied. Maybe through our art, our writing, our voice, our business, or our ideas. Maybe physically through bringing forth a beautiful baby, a new generation. Constantly, always, forever — we are in a state of birthing.

And this is truly our purpose. Man, woman and child alike. We were created to create.