We were sitting on the sidewalk right in front of our apartment building, our clothes dirty, our hands covered in colored chalk. I closed my eyes, savoring the moment—of being filthy, of sitting on the floor, of coloring and laughing with my children. I wanted more, but as always I pulled myself in another direction. “Time to get up, time to eat dinner, time to take a bath, time to go to sleep, but children, time to play? Maybe tomorrow, there’s no more time today . . .”

There is a blessing that we say upon eating a new fruit (the first time you eat a seasonal fruit in the season) which praises and thanks G‑d for enabling us to be in the present moment. The blessing is also an expression of appreciation for all the wonderful things that G‑d creates for us to enjoy in this world. The text of the blessing is:

I wanted more, but as always I pulled myself in another directionBaruch atah Ado-nai Elo-heinu melech ha-olam she-he-che-yanu ve-ki-ye-ma-nu ve-hi-gi-anu liz-man ha-zeh—“Blessed are You, G‑d, our G‑d, Master of the world, for allowing us to live, sustaining us, and allowing us to reach this time (or season).”

In the Jerusalem Talmud (Kiddushin) it says:

“[When a person will stand in judgment before G‑d after he or she leaves this world], they will have to give a din ve-cheshbon (reckoning) for anything (i.e., food that G‑d created) that they had the opportunity to taste, yet didn’t taste!”

There are references in the Torah where man is compared to a tree. Children, which are the offspring of man, are thus the fruits of the tree. Hours after my children went to sleep the day we played with chalk, I couldn’t help thinking to myself, “Elana, these moments with your children, you have to savor them now; if not, you will look back and be held accountable for missing them. You will so wish that you had them back, and regret that you didn’t appreciate them. This is the season!”

“Thank you, G‑d, for allowing me to live and have this time, this moment.”

We live in a world that is caught up with the body. As a mother, you worry so much about physicality: the cooking, the cleaning, the shopping, and the never-ending pile of laundry. “Are you cold? Are you hot? Did you eat breakfast this morning? Go to sleep, get some rest. Wake up, wake up!” Do we take enough time to look into our child’s eyes, to touch their hand, to really talk? Do we worry, and seek to find out, about what is going on in their hearts, their souls? “In one minute, when I finish this phone call.” “Let me just clean up and I’ll be right with you.” The problem is that “one minute” is never just one minute, and that the one minute might be a minute too late.

The problem is that “one minute” is never just one minute, and that the one minute might be a minute too lateIn Hebrew the word for time, zman, has the same root as the word for “to invite” (lehazmin) or an invitation (hazmanah). If only we could take the same amount of time, getting to know and enjoying our children, as we would for an important guest. I shudder to think what will happen in the future if I don’t make that time now. Will they ever invite me into their lives, their hearts? Will they trust me and confide in me, turning to me when they need me, or will they run to someone else because I am always too busy?

I simply don’t have the time . . .

But that’s not true! If it’s a priority, I’ll make the time. I linger for just one more minute as they give me another hug and kiss goodnight (and not get stressed thinking about all that I need to do when they are asleep). I’ll sweep the floor only once at the end of the day, and not each and every time they make a mess (every five minutes!). I’ll sit down with them to a dinner of cereal and milk, instead of cooking and having them sit down to eat while I stand up. I’ll ignore the phone when it rings, and turn the music on to dance with them instead. I’ll laugh with them, I’ll cry with them, I’ll play with them. I’ll be with them, and I’ll bless, “Thank you, G‑d, for allowing me to live and have this time, this precious moment that I will never get back.”