The instruction of the wise is a source of life, diverting one from deathly pitfalls (Proverbs 13:14)תּוֹרַת חָכָם מְקוֹר חַיִּים, לָסוּר מִמֹּקְשֵׁי מָוֶת (משלי יג, יד).
The Book of Laws Governing
Relations with Womenסֵפֶר נָשִׁים
The Fourth Bookוְהוּא סֵפֶר רְבִיעִי
It contains five halachot. They are, in order:הִלְכוֹתָיו חָמֵשׁ, וְזֶה הוּא סִדּוּרָן:
Hilchot Ishut — The Laws of Marriageהִלְכוֹת אִישׁוּת,

Mishneh Torah (Moznaim)

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Hilchot Gerushin — The Laws of Divorceהִלְכוֹת גֵּרוּשִׁין,
Hilchot Yibbum VaChalitzah—The Laws Pertaining to Yibbum and Chalitzahהִלְכוֹת יִבּוּם וַחֲלִיצָה,
Hilchot Na’arah Betulah — The Laws Pertaining to a Virgin Maiden הִלְכוֹת נַעֲרָה בְּתוּלָה,
Hilchot Sotah — The Laws Pertaining to a Sotahהִלְכוֹת סוֹטָה
The Laws of Marriageהִלְכוֹת אִישׁוּת
They contain four mitzvot: two positive commandments and two negative commandments. They are:יֵשׁ בִּכְלָלָן אַרְבַּע מִצְווֹת - שְׁתֵּי מִצְווֹת עֲשֵׂה, וּשְׁתֵּי מִצְווֹת לֹא תַעֲשֶׂה; וְזֶה הוּא פְּרָטָן:
1) To marry a woman, granting her the rights of the formal marriage contract (ketubah) and sanctifying the relationship through the rites of kiddushin,(א) לִשָּׂא אִשָּׁה בִּכְתֻבָּה וְקִדּוּשִׁין;
2) Not to have relations with a woman unless she has been granted a marriage contract, and the relationship has been sanctified through the rites of kiddushin,(ב) שֶׁלֹּא תִבָּעֵל אִשָּׁה בְּלֹא כְּתֻבָּה וְקִדּוּשִׁין;
3) Not to deny her food, clothing and marital relations,(ג) שֶׁלֹּא יִמְנַע שְׁאֵר כְּסוּת וְעוֹנָה;
4) To be fruitful and multiply.(ד) לִפְרוֹת וְלִרְבּוֹת מִמֶּנָּה.
These mitzvot are explained in the chapters that follow.וּבֵאוּר מִצְווֹת אֵלּוּ בִּפְרָקִים אֵלּוּ.
1Before the Torah was given, when a man would meet a woman in the marketplace and he and she decided to marry, he would bring her home, conduct relations in private and thus make her his wife.אקֹדֶם מַתַּן תּוֹרָה הָיָה אָדָם פּוֹגֵעַ אִשָּׁה בַּשּׁוּק, אִם רָצָה הוּא וְהִיא לִשָּׂא אוֹתָהּ - מַכְנִיסָהּ לְבֵיתוֹ וּבוֹעֲלָהּ בֵּינוֹ לְבֵין עַצְמוֹ, וְתִהְיֶה לוֹ לְאִשָּׁה.
Once the Torah was given, the Jews were commanded that when a man desires to marry a woman, he must acquire her as a wife in the presence of witnesses. Only after this, does she become his wife. This is alluded to in Deuteronomy 22:13: ‘‘When a man takes a wife and is intimate with her....’’כֵּיוָן שֶׁנִּתְּנָה תּוֹרָה, נִצְטַוּוּ יִשְׂרָאֵל שֶׁאִם יִרְצֶה הָאִישׁ לִשָּׂא אִשָּׁה - יִקְנֶה אוֹתָהּ תְּחִלָּה בִּפְנֵי עֵדִים, וְאַחַר כָּךְ תִּהְיֶה לוֹ לְאִשָּׁה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר "כִּי יִקַּח אִישׁ אִשָּׁה וּבָא אֵלֶיהָ" (דברים כב, יג).
2This process of acquisition fulfills one of the Torah’s positive commandments.1בוְלִקּוּחִין אֵלּוּ, מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה שֶׁל תּוֹרָה הֵם.
The process of acquiring a wife is formalized in three ways: through the transfer of money, through the transfer of a formal document and through intimate relations. The effectiveness of intimate relations and the transfer of a formal document have their origin in the Torah itself, while the effectiveness of transfer of money is Rabbinic in origin.2וּבְאֶחָד מִשְּׁלוֹשָׁה דְּבָרִים הָאִשָּׁה נִקְנֵית - בַּכֶּסֶף, אוֹ בַּשְּׁטָר, אוֹ בַּבִּיאָה. בְּבִיאָה וּבְשְּׁטָר, מֵהַתּוֹרָה, וּבְכֶּסֶף, מִדִבְרֵי סוֹפְרִים.
This process of acquisition is universally referred to as erusin (‘‘betrothal’’) or kiddushin (‘‘consecration’’). And a woman who is acquired in any of these three ways is referred to as mekudeshet or me’ureset.וְלִקּוּחִין אֵלּוּ, הֵן הַנִקְרָאִין 'קִדּוּשִׁין' אוֹ 'אֵרוּסִין' בְּכָל מָקוֹם. וְאִשָּׁה שֶׁנִּקְנֵית בְּאֶחָד מִשְּׁלוֹשָׁה דְּבָרִים אֵלּוּ, הִיא הַנִּקְרֵאת 'מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת' אוֹ 'מְאֹרֶסֶת'.
3Once this process of acquisition has been formalized and a woman has become mekudeshet, she is considered to be married even though the marriage bond has not been consummated and she has not entered her husband’s home.גוְכֵיוָן שֶׁנִּקְנֵית הָאִשָּׁה וְנַעֲשֵׂית מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁלֹּא נִבְעֲלָה וְלֹא נִכְנְסָה לְבֵית בַּעְלָהּ - הֲרֵי הִיא אֵשֶׁת אִישׁ.
Should anyone other than her husband engage in intimate relations with her, he is liable to be executed by the court. If her husband desires to divorce her, he must compose a get a formal bill of divorce.וְהַבָּא עָלֶיהָ חוּץ מִבַּעְלָהּ, חַיָּב מִיתַת בֵּית דִּין. וְאִם רָצָה לְגָרֵשׁ, צְרִיכָה גֵּט.
4Before the Torah was given, when a man would meet a woman in the marketplace, and he and she desired, he could give her payment, engage in relations with her wherever they desired, and then depart. Such a woman is referred to as a harlot.3דקֹדֶם מַתַּן תּוֹרָה הָיָה אָדָם פּוֹגֵעַ אִשָּׁה בַּשּׁוּק, אִם רָצָה הוּא וְהִיא - נוֹתֵן לָהּ שְׂכָרָהּ, וּבוֹעֵל אוֹתָהּ עַל אֵם הַדֶּרֶךְ וְהוֹלֵךְ לוֹ. וְזוֹ הִיא הַנִּקְרֵאת 'קְדֵשָׁה'.
When the Torah was given, relations with a harlot became forbidden, as Deuteronomy 23:18 states: ‘‘There shall not be a harlot among the children of Israel.’’4מִשֶּׁנִתְּנָה הַתּוֹרָה - נֶאְסְרָה הַקְּדֵשָׁה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר "לֹא תִהְיֶה קְדֵשָׁה מִבְּנוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל" (דברים כג, יח).
Therefore, a person who has relations with a woman for the sake of lust, without kiddushin, receives lashes as prescribed by the Torah, because he had relations with a harlot.לְפִיכָךְ כָּל הַבּוֹעֵל אִשָּׁה לְשֵׁם זְנוּת, בְּלֹא קִדּוּשִׁין - לוֹקֶה מִן הַתּוֹרָה, מִפְּנֵי שֶׁבָּעַל קְדֵשָׁה.
5Whenever it is forbidden to engage in relations from the Torah, and engaging in relations makes one liable for karet - i.e., the forbidden relationships mentioned in Parashat Acharei Mot, such as a person’s mother, his sister, his daughter and the like - these relations are called arayot, and each particular forbidden relationship is called an ervah.5הכָּל שֶׁאָסַר בִּיאָתָן בַּתּוֹרָה וְחַיָּב עַל בִּיאָתָן כָּרֵת, וְהֵן הָאֲמוּרוֹת בְּפָרָשַׁת "אַחֲרֵי מוֹת" (ויקרא טז, א), הֵן הַנִקְרָאִין 'עֲרָיוֹת'. וְכָל אַחַת מֵהֶן נִקְרֵאת 'עֶרְוָה', כְּגוֹן אֵם וְאָחוֹת וּבַת וְכַיּוֹצֵא בָּהֶן.
6There are other women with whom relations are forbidden according to the Oral Tradition; these prohibitions are Rabbinic in origin. These women are called shniyot (prohibitions of a secondary nature).ווְיֵשׁ נָשִׁים אֲחֵרוֹת שֶׁאֲסוּרוֹת מִפִּי הַקַּבָּלָה, וְאִסּוּרָן מִדִּבְרֵי סוֹפְרִים. וְהֵן הַנִּקְרָאוֹת 'שְׁנִיּוֹת', מִפְּנֵי שֶׁהֵן שְׁנִיּוֹת לָעֲרָיוֹת. וְכָל אַחַת מֵהֶן נִקְרֵאת 'שְׁנִיָּה'.
There are twenty such women, including: a) one’s maternal grandmother; this prohibition continues upward without interruption: a person’s maternal grandmother’s maternal grandmother - and also those further removed - are also forbidden; b) the mother of a person’s maternal grandfather; this prohibition applies to her alone and not her forbears.וְעֶשְׂרִים אִשָּׁה הֵן, וְאֵלּוּ הֵן: (א) אֵם אִמּוֹ, וְזוֹ אֵין לָהּ הֶפְסֵק, אֶלָא אַפִלּוּ אֵם אֵם אֵם אִמּוֹ עַד מַעְלָה מַעְלָה, אֲסוּרָה; (ב) וְאֵם אֲבִי אִמּוֹ בִּלְבָד.
c) a person’s paternal grandmother; this prohibition continues upward without interruption: a person’s paternal grandmother’s maternal grandmother - and also those further removed - are also forbidden; d) the mother of his paternal grandfather; this prohibition applies to her alone and not her forbears.(ג) וְאֵם אָבִיו, וְזוֹ אֵין לָהּ הֶפְסֵק, אֶלָא אַפִלּוּ אֵם אֵם אֵם אָבִיו עַד לְמַעְלָה, אֲסוּרָה; (ד) וְאֵם אֲבִי אָבִיו בִּלְבָד.
e) the wife of his paternal grandfather; this prohibition continues upward without interruption; the wife of our Patriarch Jacob is forbidden to any one of us; f) the wife of his maternal grandfather; this prohibition applies to her alone; g) the wife of his father’s maternal brother; h) the wife of his mother’s brother, whether a paternal or a maternal brother.(ה) וְאֵשֶׁת אֲבִי אָבִיו, וְזוֹ אֵין לָהּ הֶפְסֵק, אַפִלּוּ אֵשֶׁת יַעֲקוֹב אָבִינוּ, אֲסוּרָה עַל אֶחָד מִמֶּנּוּ; (ו) וְאֵשֶׁת אֲבִי אִמּוֹ בִּלְבָד; (ז) וְאֵשֶׁת אֲחִי הָאָב, מִן הָאֵם; (ח) וְאֵשֶׁת אֲחִי הָאֵם, בֵּין מִן הָאֵם בֵּין מִן הָאָב.
i) his son’s daughter-in-law; this prohibition continues downward without interruption; any one of our wives is forbidden to our Patriarch Jacob; j) the daughter-in-law of one’s daughter; this prohibition applies to her alone.(ט) וְכַלַּת בְּנוֹ, וְזוֹ אֵין לָהּ הֶפְסֵק, אַפִלּוּ כַּלַּת בֶּן בֶּן בְּנוֹ עַד סוֹף הָעוֹלָם, אֲסוּרָה - עַד שֶׁתִּהְיֶה אֵשֶׁת אֶחָד מִמֶּנּוּ, שְׁנִיָּה עַל יַעֲקוֹב אָבִינוּ; (י) וְכַלַּת בִּתּוֹ בִּלְבָד.
k) the daughter of one’s son’s daughter; this prohibition applies to her alone; l) the daughter of one’s son’s son; this prohibition applies to her alone; m) the daughter of one’s daughter’s daughter; this prohibition applies to her alone; n) the daughter of one’s daughter’s son; this prohibition applies to her alone; o) the daughter of the son of one’s wife’s son; this prohibition applies to her alone; p) the daughter of the daughter of one’s wife’s daughter; this prohibition applies to her alone.(יא) וּבַת בַּת בְּנוֹ בִּלְבָד; (יב) וּבַת בֶּן בְּנוֹ בִּלְבָד; (יג) וּבַת בַּת בִּתּוֹ בִּלְבָד; (יד) וּבַת בֶּן בִּתּוֹ בִּלְבָד; (טו) וּבַת בֶּן בֶּן אִשְׁתּוֹ בִּלְבָד; (טז) וּבַת בַּת בַּת אִשְׁתּוֹ בִּלְבָד.
q) the maternal grandmother of one’s wife’s father; this prohibition applies to her alone; r) the paternal grandmother of one’s wife’s mother; this prohibition applies to her alone; s) the maternal grandmother of one’s wife’s mother; this prohibition applies to her alone; t) the paternal grandmother of one’s wife’s father; this prohibition applies to her alone.(יז) וְאֵם אֵם אֲבִי אִשְׁתּוֹ בִּלְבָד; (יח) וְאֵם אָב אֵם אִשְׁתּוֹ בִּלְבָד; (יט) וְאֵם אֵם אֵם אִשְׁתּוֹ בִּלְבָד; (כ) וְאֵם אָב אֲבִי אִשְׁתּוֹ בִּלְבָד.
Thus, the categories of shniyot that continue without interruption are four: one’s maternal grandmother - this continues upward without interruption; one’s paternal grandmother - this continues upward without interruption; the wife of one’s paternal grandfather - this continues upward without interruption; and the wife of one’s son’s son - this continues downward without interruption.נִמְצְאוּ הַשְּׁנִיּוֹת שֶׁאֵין לָהֶן הֶפְסֵק, אַרְבַּע: אֵם הָאֵם עַד לְמַעְלָה, וְאֵם הָאָב עַד לְמַעְלָה, וְאֵשֶׁת אֲבִי הָאָב עַד לְמַעְלָה, וְאֵשֶׁת בֶּן בְּנוֹ עַד לְמַטָּה.
7All relations with women that are forbidden by the Torah, but that are not punishable by karet, are referred to as issurei lavin (prohibitions forbidden by negative commandments); they are also referred to as issurei kedushah (prohibitions that encourage holiness).זכָּל שֶׁאָסַר בִּיאָתוֹ בַּתּוֹרָה וְלֹא חַיָּב עָלָיו כָּרֵת, הֵן הַנִּקְרָאִים 'אִסּוּרֵי לָאוִין'. וְעוֹד, נִקְרָאִין 'אִסּוּרֵי קְדֻשָּׁה'.
They are nine: relations between a widow and a High Priest;6 those between a divorcee, a zonah,7 or a chalalah8 and either a High Priest or an ordinary priest,9 those between a bastard10 and a native-born Jewish male or female, those between a native-born Jewish woman and a Moabite or Ammonite convert,11 those between a man and his divorcee after she has been married to another person,12 those between a native-born Jewish woman and a man with crushed testicles or a cut member,13 and those between a yevamah and a man other than one of her deceased husband’s brothers while she is still obligated to them.14 וְתִשְׁעָה הֵן, וְאֵלּוּ הֵן: אַלְמָנָה לְכוֹהֵן גָּדוֹל. גְּרוּשָׁה אוֹ זוֹנָה אוֹ חֲלָלָה - בֵּין לְכוֹהֵן גָּדוֹל בֵּין לְכוֹהֵן הִדְיוֹט. וּמַמְזֶרֶת לְבֶן יִשְׂרָאֵל, וְכֵן בַּת יִשְׂרָאֵל לְמַמְזֵר. וּבַת יִשְׂרָאֵל לְעַמּוֹנִי וּמוֹאָבִי. וּבַת יִשְׂרָאֵל לִפְצוּעַ דַּכָּא וּכְרוּת שָׁפְכָה. וּגְרוּשָׁתוֹ, אַחַר שֶׁנִּשֵּׂאת לְאַחֵר. וִיבָמָה שֶׁנִּשֵּׂאת לְזָר, וַעֲדַיִן רְשׁוּת הַיָּבָם עָלֶיהָ.
According to Rabbinic decree, an equation is established between a divorcee and a woman who undergoes chalitzah, and the latter is also forbidden to engage in relations with a priest.הַחֲלוּצָה, הֲרֵי הִיא כִּגְרוּשָׁה, וְהִיא אֲסוּרָה לַכּוֹהֵן מִדִּבְרֵי סוֹפְרִים.
The Rabbis also placed netinim - male or female - in the same status as bastards. In Hilchot Issurei Bi’ah, we will explain who the netinim are.15 וְהַנְּתִינִים - הֲרֵי הֵם כְּמַמְזֵרִים, אֶחָד זְכָרִים וְאֶחָד נְקֵבוֹת, וְאִסּוּרָם מִדִּבְרֵי סוֹפְרִים. וּבְהִלְכוֹת אִסּוּרֵי בִּיאָה יִתְבָּאֵר לְךָ מַה הֵם הַנְּתִינִים.
8There are certain relationships for which there is a prohibition resulting from a positive commandment issurei aseh, but they are not prohibited by a negative commandment.חוְיֵשׁ שֶׁאִסּוּר בִּיאָתָן בַּעֲשֵׂה, וְאֵינָן מֵחַיָּבֵי לָאוִין.
There are three such prohibitions: the first and second generations of Egyptian or Edomite converts, both men and women to all native-born Jews and Jewish women, and a woman who is not a virgin to a High Priest.וּשְׁלוֹשָׁה הֵם: מִצְרִי וַאֲדוֹמִי דּוֹר רִאשׁוֹן וְדוֹר שֵׁנִי, אֶחָד זְכָרִים וְאֶחָד נְקֵבוֹת. וּבְעוּלָה לְכוֹהֵן גָּדוֹל.
In these instances, there are no verses that state “He shall not enter the congregation of God...” or “he may not take....” The prohibition against the marriage of the Edomite and Egyptian converts is instead derived from Deuteronomy 23:9, which states that “in the third generation they may enter the congregation of God.” This implies that the first and second generations may not enter this marriage group.לְפִי שֶׁלֹּא נֶאֱמַר בְּאֵלּוּ לֹא יָבוֹא אוֹ לֹא יִקַּח, אֶלָא מִכְּלַל שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר "דּוֹר שְׁלִישִׁי יָבֹא לָהֶם" (דברים כג, ט), אַתָּה לָמֵד שֶׁדּוֹר רִאשׁוֹן וְשֵׁנִי לֹא יָבוֹא.
Similarly, from the positive commandment, Leviticus 21:13: “He the High Priest shall marry a virgin,” we can derive that he is forbidden to marry a woman who is not a virgin. וּמִכְּלַל שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר "וְהוּא אִשָּׁה בִבְתוּלֶיהָ יִקָּח" (ויקרא כא, יג), אַתָּה לָמֵד שֶׁאֵינָהּ בְּתוּלָה לֹא יִקַּח.
A prohibition that is derived from a positive commandment has the status of a positive commandment.וְלָאו הַבָּא מִכְּלַל עֲשֵׂה, הֲרֵי הוּא כַּעֲשֵׂה.