You may have been to Shabbat or High Holidays services, which many make sure to attend annually. But services are actually held every day! Nervous and not sure what to expect? You’ve come to the right place!

Before we begin, I want to note that most of the natives are friendly and will be more than happy to help you, so feel free to reach out if you have a question. Really.

Also note that, unlike Shabbat, cell phone use is permitted on weekdays, so it is permissible to snap a picture of the bar mitzvah boy (or other celebrant) as appropriate, but many congregations strongly encourage you to leave distracting technology behind.

Make sure that you are appropriately dressed before you enter. For women, this means wearing a longish skirt and a conservative top. If you are married, you will want to cover your hair as well.

For men, make sure that you have your head covered. Most synagogues have a basket with kippahs at the door.

During morning services (but not afternoon or evening services), you will notice that most of the men are wearing a prayer shawl called a tallit (or tallis) draped over their shoulders. In most Ashkenazi communities, we start wearing them only after marriage. In all likelihood, the synagogue has a rack with some spares that you can use.

The other thing that men from the age of 13 and up wear are tefillin, leather boxes containing excerpts from the Torah, which are strapped to the head and bicep. If you need a pair or need help putting them on, ask for help, and people will be more than happy to help you out.

Now you need a book. The standard prayerbook is called a siddur. If you are attending services at Chabad, chances are that the congregation will be using the blue-bound siddur published by Kehot Publication Society. It has Hebrew and English texts, Hebrew on the right and the English translation on the left.

Now that you’ve got your gear, make your way to a seat. Remember, men and women sit separately in traditional Jewish services. If you are a guy, get into your tallit and tefillin, with the assistance of the rabbi or your neighbor if needed.

Now that you’re sitting, let me tell you what you can expect this morning. For your convenience, I will be pointing out the prayers as they appear in the Chabad siddur. If you are using another edition, don’t worry; the pages may be different, but most of the prayers are the same.

At the front of the sanctuary, you will notice a large cabinet with a curtain draped over its front. Called an ark (or aron hakodesh), it contains the Torah scrolls, which are read during services.

The prayers will be led by the cantor, also known as the chazzan. He will begin and end each paragraph in Hebrew out loud. While most of the prayers are for everyone to say, there will be some parts of the services that only he will say, with everyone else responding as indicated in the siddur. The most important (and common) response is “Amen.” When you hear people saying it, just join right in.

At various points, sections of prayer will be bookended by Kaddish, an Aramaic poem praising G‑d. Sometimes this is said by the cantor, and other times it is said by people who are mourning departed loved ones. Even if you are not saying Kaddish, you should join in with everyone else in saying your amen at the appropriate points.

If you are more comfortable, you can say the prayers in English. After all, prayer is a conversation between you and G‑d, and you need to know what you are saying.

Note that I will not mention every single paragraph or Kaddish, since that would be information overload for some people, and you can readily see it all in the siddur for yourself. Also note that a typical morning service lasts between 40-60 minutes, but that can vary based on the congregation’s pace.

With that in mind, here’s what you can expect this morning:

Introductory Hymns

The Shema and its Blessings

Amidah and Repetition

(Confession and Tachanun)

(Torah Reading)

Conclusion

Introductory Hymns (pages 27-38): A selection of psalms and other praises to G‑d. You can think of these as a “warmup” for the long run ahead. While most are said quietly, you may discover that some will be sung in unison, most notably Ashrei (Psalm 145). These begin with a blessing called Baruch She’Amar (“Blessed is He Who Said”) and conclude with Yishtabach (“May He Be Praised”)

Shema and its Blessings (pages 39-45): After a Kaddish (page 38-39) and a call to praise, which includes a brief and slight bow, we begin building up to the Shema, perhaps the most central of all Jewish prayers. The blessings which precede the Shema talk of the wonders of nature and the angels, and how all of them join together to praise G‑d.

On page 42, we say the Shema itself, in which we declare G‑d’s unity and our fidelity to Him. It is composed of one six-word sentence and then three paragraphs from the Bible.

After the Shema, we say another blessing, this time praising G‑d for having taken us out of Egypt.

Amidah and Chazzan’s Repetition (pages 45-54): The Shema is followed by the silent “Standing Prayer,” known as the Amidah. We stand facing the front of the synagogue with our feet together, and say the words quietly, in a whisper that only we can hear.

After most people have finished, the chazzan will repeat the Amidah out loud. You may be seated at this point. He’s repeating what we’ve just said verbatim with three notable exceptions:

  • On the top of page 47, there is a responsive bit in which he and the congregation take turns telling how the angels on high praise G‑d. Called Kedushah, it is so special that the congregation stands in place with their feet together.
  • Modim Derabbanan, which is on the side of page 51, is a special insert said just by the congregation.
  • Last but not least, there are going to be lots of opportunities for you to say amen. So hold onto your hat! If you miss a few, no need to worry. It takes time to get used to the rhythm of the prayers.

Confession and Tachanun (page 54): This bit is omitted on joyous occasions, such as when a circumcision will be celebrated in the synagogue or on other special days. To further complicate things, it is just a page or two on most days, but is expanded significantly on Mondays and Thursdays (read why here). The main landmark you will notice here is on page 55 when people sit down and lower their heads on their forearms.

Torah Reading Service (page 61): Our next major landmark is the Torah reading. If you are attending a bar mitzvah, there is a good chance that this is where you’ll see the celebrant and his relatives shine.

Everyone stands as a Torah scroll is removed from the ark and brought to the bimah (raised table) in the middle of the sanctuary to be read.

Now, exactly what will be read depends on the week, since there is a fixed cycle that allows the entire scroll to be completed every year. The full weekly portion (also called a parshah or sidra) is pretty long, but on weekdays just a small slice is read.

During the reading, three men are called up to say blessings over the Torah (page 63). This honor is known as having an aliyah. Another portion of the parshah is read for each consecutive aliyah. This will happen three times today. When the reading is over, the Torah is hoisted high in the air for all to see (bottom of page 65).

Conclusion: We’re pretty close to being finished. The finale of the service is the Aleinu (pages 80-81), and then the service is pretty much over.

But wait! There’s more. There is a special custom to recite a portion of psalms daily, completing the book every month. At Chabad, chances are the daily psalms will be announced. You’ll need a separate book in order to do that one.

Once services are done, you can take off your tallit and tefillin but keep your kippah on your head.

If you are at synagogue for a special event, there may be a breakfast served somewhere. Even if not, don’t be surprised if people take a few minutes to share a coffee and chat before going out and starting the rest of their day.