The Highest Happiness
True happiness is the highest form of self-sacrifice.
There, in that state, there is no sense of self
—not even awareness that you are happy.
True happiness is somewhere beyond “knowing.”
Beyond self.
All the more so when you bring joy to others.
Purim Backwards
On Purim, it’s a mitzvah to hear the story of Esther read from a scroll—called a “megillah”—both by day and by night.
The Talmud tells us, “If you read the story backwards, you haven’t read the story.” (Megillah 2a.)
Of course, that means you have to read the story in the order it’s written.
But the Baal Shem Tov provided a deeper meaning:
If you read the story of Esther and of her people, of the rise of Haman and his own self-destruction, of secret heroes and hidden miracles…
…if you read all this as though it was all a backstory —something that occurred a long time ago and now provides only historical context —you haven’t read the story.
Because Jews have never had the luxury to retell this story as something we have put behind us.
Haman persists to reappear in his many incarnations, as a dictator, as a terrorist, as an ideology, as an advocate of war, as an advocate of peace, or, most pernicious of all, as the cold apathy that chills our own hearts from within.
He remains to remind us that as a nation, as well as individuals, we rely every day on G‑d's miracles simply to remain the nation we were chosen to be. And when we stand firm and united, we see those miracles.
A Jew looks around and discovers: We are standing in the middle of the story of Purim right now.
Beautifully Absurd
The world is absurd. Ugly absurd.
To repair ugly absurdity, you can’t just be normal. You need an alternative absurdity. A beautiful absurdity.
We call it “divine madness.”
Divine madness means dancing like a fool at your friend's wedding because you love him so much.
Divine madness means walking out of a busy office where everybody needs you on Friday afternoon so you can light Shabbat candles on time.
Divine madness means driving back and forth every day to take your kid to a Jewish school even though there's a good public school just down the street.
It means acting the clown on Purim, visiting the sick, the elderly, and the confined instead of going to work or to school that day.
Yes, it's crazy. But, hey, did you really think normal people are going to save the world?
Cursed and Blessed
There are forty-nine gates of human understanding. The fiftieth gate is entirely beyond any living being.
It is so high that, looking down from there, all things are equally nothing. There is no good, no evil, nothing can be added or taken away, the righteous are dust, the wicked are dust, nothing is of consequence, all is but dust.
That is why Haman erected a gallows fifty cubits high upon which to hang Mordechai. To say: G‑d does not care. He is beyond all these things. There is no good or evil, it is all a fiction of the petty human mind.
Drunk with the joy of Purim, a Jew soars higher and yet higher until he reaches that gate. Upon entering, the Jew defiantly proclaims that the oppressed must be saved, the wicked overthrown, and light, joy, happiness, and peace must rule throughout the universe.
“As for this high place,” the Jew declares, “I am not impressed. It too was created for the purpose of our joy below!”
Yes, it is true that the higher you go, the less things matter. So why does anything at all exist?
Because an infinite, can-do-anything God chose that it should exist with joy, with love, and with goodness. He chose light over darkness, good over evil, liberty over oppression, the joy of Purim over the evil machinations of a powerful megalomaniac.
He chose, and that choice became the very fabric out of which this universe was formed, the theme of every story it tells, the meaning of every life, the message of every mitzvah we do.
Its secret exposed, the fiftieth gate itself is redeemed. It, too, has served its purpose.
So that, in the end, Haman was hanged on his own gallows, fifty cubits high.
Haman's Gamble
The word Purim is from the Persian word pur, a means of gambling.
Because Haman believed that all of life is a gamble.
G‑d threw a roll of dice, he said, and the world was made.
Another roll—good was chosen to be good and bad to be evil.
So Haman threw his own dice and gambled that this time evil would win and good would be defeated. And when he saw the results, he was convinced that he had won the game.
Haman was right about one thing: G‑d is beyond this world. Beyond all things.
He has no need for a world, or for anything at all to exist. He can choose as He wills.
He was wrong about another: G‑d doesn't decide by a roll of dice.
He chooses with His very self, the essence of His being.
So that within this choice to have a world, His very essence is invested.
And within those things He chose as good, He is found.
And within those things He chose as evil, He is hidden.
Even within the throw of dice, even when thrown by the most sinister villain, He is there.
And the dice are loaded.
Whole and Half
To become one with another person, you must first recognize that you are but a broken half. Only then can you give all of yourself and become whole.
To become one with the Infinite Light, you must know you are but a broken half, the Infinite Light is your other half, and only then can you give all of yourself and become whole.
The Chilling Voice of Amalek
Remember that which Amalek did to you on the way as you were leaving Egypt. He met you on the way…(Deut. 25:17-18)
“He met you…” (אשר קרך) can also be read as “He made you cold.”
“…on the way…”
Just as you are getting somewhere, just as you are making your exodus towards a life in the promised land filled with the beauty of Torah and celebrating your Jewish soul…just then, a cold voice speaks from inside.
A voice with a thousand cogent reasons why it’s foolish to be excited and you need to just cool down.
It says: You're a rational person. When you hear G‑d’s voice from within the fire on the mountain, determine what makes sense to you and what does not. Don't allow anything into your heart that doesn't fit into the neat little boxes of your established way of thinking.
Already, you are back in slavery. Slavery to an Egypt of your own mind.
Amalek, you see, was a great-grandchild of Abraham. Amalek knows the one Creator of heaven and earth as well as you do. He simply is not fazed by any of that.
And Amalek is a grandson of our brother, Esau, a genius in rationalizing anything he wanted to do.
So Amalek uses your own mind to switch off the fire burning in your heart. You're now stuck on the road without an engine. Helpless prey for the beasts of the wilderness.
You can't use your mind against him, because he will hijack it. And yet, there is a hard-proven strategy to defeat Amalek:
Keep a fire burning in your soul. Fan its flames with the Torah wisdom of great sages, fuel it with the passion of your mitzvahs, and yet more mitzvahs, whatever mitzvahs come your way. Don't measure them. Just do.
If an Amalekite meets you along the way, and asks, “Why this mitzvah? Aren't there better ones?” slam your foot on the gas. It doesn't matter how rational that voice might sound—if it cools you down, it is out to destroy you.
It is Amalek, the perpetual nemesis of Israel.
Remember To Forget
One of the 613 mitzvahs of the Torah is to erase the memory of Amalek. We even have a Torah reading designated once a year, on the Shabbat before Purim, for us to fulfill this mitzvah as a community.
But since Sennacherib, king of Ancient Assyria, forcibly displaced all the tribes of the Middle East, it is impossible to identify an Amalekite. How does the mitzvah remain relevant today?
It is relevant because every mitzvah has both a physical and a spiritual manifestation. The physical side of this mitzvah does not currently apply, but the spiritual side is alive and well.
And since the mitzvah to fight Amalek is not a once-in-a-lifetime mitzvah, or even a once-in-a-year mitzvah, but a daily responsibility, it is a constant battle from which we cannot rest.
Amalek was the nation that met the Jewish people as they broke out of their bondage in Egypt through miracles and wonders, as they charged with all the fire and enthusiasm of a freshly-born nation towards Mount Sinai and the Promised Land.
The nations of Canaan trembled in dread and fear. But Amalek was not moved. They lost a battle against the Jews, but they were successful in bringing the temperature down for all involved.
That is the spiritual Amalek we tackle every day. The chill factor.
A Jew must be on fire. Every day. And every day, Amalek comes with a new strategy to cool you down.
Every morning, light your fire anew.
Unnatural Response
Pharaoh’s advisers tried hard to explain away all the plagues.
Even when the Red Sea split, allowed the Jews free passage, and drowned their enemies, there were those who ascribed the entire event to natural causes.
Such is human nature, to reflexively seek out a natural explanation for every event.
But a Jew, quite the opposite, ponders a natural occurrence and sees a miracle.
Because a Jew has an innate inner conviction that there is nothing else but G‑d. There is no nature—it is all by His hand.
Love, Happiness and Worry
Where there is worry and anxiety, there is little room for happiness. And where there is no happiness, there lies a fettered soul.
What is the antidote to worry? Simple faith.
Worry is the opposite of faith. It is the worship of the forces of nature, the dynamics of the market, the belief that these and mortal beings have power over your life.
Faith is the inner knowledge that there is really nothing else but His abundant love, flowing to you in ways most often far beyond your comprehension.
If so, when His caress seems harsh, embrace it with love. When His kisses pour down in a torrent beyond your capacity to endure, open wide.
Perhaps He is carrying you higher, closer, far beyond your tiny cell into a vast palace of blinding light, because He desires your closeness.
Perhaps He is cleansing your body and soul, your universe and all it contains, finely tuning them to resonate with His presence.
The relentless forces of nature, the vicissitudes of the market, the angry power of human beings—your eyes will open and they will dissipate into oblivion. For they are nothing more than channels of endless love from an infinite G‑d.
This is happiness: Life with Him alone.
Joy Breaks Barriers
There are many kinds of barriers:
Barriers between people.
Barriers that prevent you from doing good things.
Barriers of your own mind and your own hesitations.
Barriers from within and barriers from without.
There are barriers that exist simply because you are a limited being.
Joy breaks down all barriers.
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