My Glass

you are a beautiful nashamah You are truly a beautiful neshamah (soul). May Hashem continue to send you those moments of clarity- i.e. your child holding your face and kissing you, and may it help you remember NEVER to ask why, because the multitude of answers could never truly allow you to gain perspective, but remember, as Rebbetzin Jungreis says, to ask HOW- how can I make this meaningful and what correction can I make in my spirirtual self to allow for healing with a listening heart....Tizku l'mitzvot!! Thank you for sharing such an intimate matter, and may G-d bless you with continued strength!! Reply

sometimes, it is, hard I wrote about miscarriages, and missed carriages, meaning the nostalgia of what was, those little running feet on the stairs, a sudden hug, little sticky fingers in mine, that feeling of absolute trust.

It's hard when someone you love miscarries, and when life has these moments of heaviness, what drags at us all, and then we say, "it's such a drag. My life. This day." We feel the heaviness, and gravity overcomes us all. And sometimes it seems the burden of sadness is too great to bear. And even if we can, bear it, why are we being asked to do this?

I wondered this day because the sky was falling, in so many ways, and sometimes, even connects that seem to be miracles, are not always of the most positive kind, and then I ask, what is the message, for me, for us all

And so, despite my optimism, my sunniness, in many of these commentaries, I will say, we all experience that shadow time, when we ask the deepest of questions, and wonder, even if we can, bear this, why are we, being asked Reply

My Glass Some of my situations is different, I am the mother of 2 grown children and a 2 year old, grandchild.
"It is late at night. I think everyone is sleeping. It is time to catch up on e-mails, news, the only few minutes that are only all mine. Just for me. I deserve them, I mumble to no-one. Out of no-where the baby climbs on my lap, squeezing in between me and the monitor. I turn off the computer, frustrated. Again.

He cups my face in his beautiful, tiny hands and kisses me.

This is my life. These are the moments. This is the baby they said I couldn't have.

I thank G-d for this life.

Thank you Orly. Reply

our identity Many years ago I felt less than, that what I was doing, being, was not that important in the scheme of things, being married to a very accomplished and brilliant geneticist, and always feeling, not from him, but from others, that I was just, "the wife", the housewife who raised the children, truly the silent listener, not a person of any consequence.

I took a profound journey that showed me that everything we do, has meaning, and that every single one of us, is here for a powerful reason, and that the most powerful thing any one of us can do, is teach our children love, respect, tradition, roots, and values. The biggest job of all, is sometimes regarded by society, with disdain.

I learned that even a housewife, studying dust, can learn the deepest secrets of the universe and that G_d , being everywhere, is deeply about LOVE and will speak to everyone, being an equal opportunity employer. And so I feel, to be at home, to be anywhere with LOVE is the answer. Torah will come to you! Reply

So true.... I see myself in this real life story and I say, YES, it is so hard to be in charge with every single movement of your child's/family's daily routine. Without me, the clock would STOP for a moment in my house until a miracle would happened. At the end of the day, I am Blessed to have what I have and to feel what I feel. Life is beautiful no matter how hard it is as long as you have something to be happy about!!! Reply

Nicely written There is a larger meaning that hit me a few minutes after reading your lovely thoughts.

My mother, Jeannette Weiss, told me before she died this June, that being a stay at home mother was the highest calling for her.

Her work....her children are her life's work and her legacy. Reply

Beautiful Story This is the life some of us wish we could have. Thank G_d for you are truly blessed to have all that you have. Reply

Full to the brim Your life sounds so very familiar, at the end of the day do it for your kids. you will have no regrets. Reply

missed, carriages! One day, you will look back, down all the years, and see how the threads of your life came together, beautifully. This is a weave. You thread it with gold, with silver, with hope, with tears, and you do love!

We've: what we have, what we deal with.

Six children!

That's a big family, and lots of joy and work.
And sometime sadness. We all experience the ups, the downs, of life.

We say to "raise a child", and that is for rising, for getting up in the morning, each morning, and sometimes it feels so hard, but then, you made this choice, and they are yours, to hug, to hold, and to raise up high. Look, five fingers on each hand, ten toes! WOW! It's another miracle!

There is ordinary within the word, extraordinary. Small is BIG. And you are dealing with a lot of small, little feet, laughter, whispers, crying, wet diapers....

isn't it, wonderful, or wasn't it, looking back, down all the years! Reply

PRECIOUS You write beautifully. You are lucky to be able to be your kids' mom and do bandaids and hugs. No hired help can possible give the love you are obviously giving to your children. However, unlike Noii, I disagree with "peace at any cost" with your sister. If having a relationship with her right now makes you irritable and angry, it's not worth it. Wait a few years. Diifficult people are like black holes and can suck you into their chaos and anger. Your priority is to be a mother - as calm and as happy as possible. Reply

orly's writing i've such a sense of empathy. i know the feeling of relentlessless and also of gratitude commingling. it's not an easy job to be parenting and partnering - endlessly. i'd not trade the world i occupy with anyone, but there are times, when there's a longing for other, different, better...the feeling passes and overwhelming appreciation for what i've got to tend to envelopes me...and it all begins again, as i run and chase and fold, and clean and, and, and...GRATITUDE - there is, after all, some time for me, too... Reply

The importance of your glass You have quite an amazing story...
My schedule is quite similar and I find that my perspective and focus can help so much; while cleaning, making a home for Hashem and fulfilling the role of a Jewish women in its ultimate, raising children.
The Rebbe praises this as higher than all the praying and learning that the men do!

Enjoy taking more light and inspiration from your kids! Mine always remind me how close Moshiach is =). Reply

ah the balancing of life... i can truly empathize with orly's internal struggles. do i pay attention to the mounds of laundry or give in to overwhelming fatigue caused by my chronic, often debilitating illness, or sit with my son while he draws his characters in his imaginary worlds? the answer is there is no true answer. and yet, i am finding more and more that heeding to the three words that have become my mantra during prayer; during my talks with Hashem; and, what i try to tell my children to calm them, ring truer and truer: be here now. BE HERE NOW. isn't that what we can only truly count on? the present. the here and now. that idea of the present being a present. i LOVE that. when orly's baby crawled up into her lap and cupped her face and kissed her. isn't that the best there is? what it's all about? what we all want? bravo to you orly for stopping to be there for that moment. because that my darlings, is what life is. a series of moments. how about we make as many of those moments be as lovely as possible Reply

The Housewife This is such a beautiful and dreadful story. Let me suggest that you seek G_d in helping you with loving your sister. I know, easier said than done, but if you were my sister, and I do have a "twisted sister" who has not spoken to me in a few years because I reproached her with truth--yeah, truth--I would really want to enjoy helping you raise my little nieces and nephews. Take care. Reply

My Glass Your article was very moving and helped me
to put my own situation in perspective. I
too thank G-d for this life.

Please share more thoughts with us. Reply

It's OK to be mad. How do we think of the liar? Most of what I hear is about forgiveness and how important it is to forgive. Even the threat of bad health for the ones who do not forgive is in the literature. But is anger about human interactions gone bad by lies or coveting worth being angry about and doing something about? I agree it should not take the person out who is angry and that self inspection is in order. But it seems like G-D can help us with our distress about wrongful actions. And although I can say I have forgiven because I know my part in it and diligently pay attention to fix my character defect, somehow it seems healthy to stand still and do not relent on my human rights.This may catapult the other to change their behavior. This takes a mix of anger, love and discipline and prayer. Is there a purpose and a meaning for the reasons that it is OK to be mad. Pray to G-D and He has big shoulders. Does G-D expect us to do our part which is to not be so forgiving that you are forced to ignore unreasonable relatives? Reply

we don't have to handle alone HaShem doesn't give us more than we can handle is a common saying. But nobody ever said we have to, or even that the intent was for us to handle it alone. Getting help, either in the tasks that must be done, or in the form of a "cuppa tea" with a friend, or even more formal help is legit. It is more than legit. HaShem wants us to use all of our resources. And in using those resources we make friends and communities. How or why would we make communities without someone needing help? So to my neighbor who asks a favor - Thank you, together we have made our community and friendship just that bit stronger. Reply